American Outliers

Okay, I'm wasting a little time watching television today.  Sometimes it's just easy and freeing to turn off the brain and tune into something a little frivolous.  Maybe a "Storage Wars" marathon, or a some DIY show, or even a freak show now and then.  Heaven knows there are plenty of those on TV these days.

I've happened onto National Geographic's series of shows under the theme, "American Outliers."  The underlying theme is that there are groups or individuals who demonstrate a lifestyle, belief system or social mores that are outside the mainstream. 

In a sense, that is what this country was founded upon - people who believed outside the norm "finding themselves" and establishing a place or community where they were free to exercise their beliefs.  We were founded by outliers who defined what it means to be American.

In a sense, as we all struggle to find ourselves and establish our identities as individuals, we're all outliers to a certain degree.  And no other place on the earth can make that claim. 

Consistency is key

"Falling off the wagon"

Maybe that should be the title of this post.  It is a tough thing to deal with though.  Sometimes we kind of "slip" off the wagon and the good habits or good progress is halted.

Whether it's a health thing or a personal development thing, maintaining that momentum is really, really, REALLY HARD.  We can't let ourselves fooled into believing that it isn't.  That is the trickster trying to get us out of improvement mode.

First of all, admitting that it's hard is not a negative affirmation.  It's REALITY.  It helps us to focus more effort on the effort.

Second, if we allow ourselves to believe it's easy, then slipping becomes not so big of a deal.  Our effort is less.  And our appreciation of our oh-so-minor achievements is probably even less.

And finally, understanding how difficult it really is to change gives us hope (and this will sound strange) that it really IS possible.  If we find ourselves going gangbusters, then failing, we are apt to give up.  Once we realize that this is not easy and that continual, consistent effort will be required, we are encouraged to get back to it.  Messing up, slipping, backsliding ... it's part of the process!  It doesn't spell the end of our journey - it's just a detour.

Now it's time to get back on track and get to gettin' about reaching those goals.

Good genes

Having good genes is such a blessing.  I mean, you generally have to play the cards you're dealt.  If you end up with a hand with losers, then it's tough to pull a winning round out of that.  So having a hand of aces is definitely a plus.

It's also well to have some strong attributes, even if you have some other less-than-stellar traits.  It's also a matter of taking what you've been given and playing to those strengths.

I've always been realistic enough to know that modeling and high-level elite athletics was not in my future.  But that's okay.  I did get some pretty darn good attributes from each gene pool.

Namely ...

Good hair

Analytical mind

Soft heart

Sense of humor

Strong teeth & bones

Decent immune system

Good manual dexterity

Above average IQ (at least that's what I've been told - maybe I was just told that and didn't have the intelligence to know the difference.  That would be ironic.)

Ability to receive and process information, learn and assimilate it

Thanks Mom and Dad.  I hope that I am making good use of those good genes.

Past, present and future

It has become apparent that the older you get, the more things start to run together, as far as time and experience goes.  It's easy to lose track of what happened and when.  Something that may seem to have taken place only a year or so ago ... it turns out that it happened five or more years ago.  Gosh, it sure doesn't seem that it was THAT long ago.

Is it a function of a "hazy brain" and do we just lose some of our mental acuity as we age?  Or is our brain only capable of retaining only so much information and memories and the like? 

Is the way that those stories and memories are imprinted so imperfect and an eventual blending is inevitable? 

Or is it just me?  I feel as though I only remember so much and that even those memories that seemed so impervious are now starting to fade.  Or is it a question of priority?  Perhaps what I used to consider a precious memory is now only a fleeting thought, making room for new memories and images that are deemed more important or vital.

All the more reason to record thoughts, ideas, feelings and experiences so as to retain and preserve them.  Some minor insight in the past or present may find new luster in the future.

Relationships that count

It was an important day for me today and I am truly grateful for the people whose support and love mean the most to me.

First and foremost is that of my husband, Harvey.  He has demonstrated beyond a shadow of a doubt that he would go to any length for me.  Not that I would expect anything most outrageous... if anything, I try to be undemanding and patient.  I love him for who he is - an intelligent, caring and charming person - not for anything that he would have to "prove" to me.  Our relationship doesn't need proving.  However, if it did, then today would have been a very good yardstick.  We have made the commitment, before God, angels and earthly witnesses, that we are pledged to one another into eternity.   Certainly 25 years is notable.  Eternity is another whole matter.

So the thought crossed my mind ... does this all make sense?  Do we really know that once we die, we go someplace else and the rituals and covenants that we call ourselves making do any good at all?  Are they really "in effect" once we die?  So this could be an exercise in futility and once we're in the ground, that's it.  That is certainly a possibility.

However, what if it isn't?  What if all of this is a fact and certainty?  Whether it is or not, what is the harm in living a morally clean and virtuous (to the best of our ability) life?  So we do a little good for others ... so we love, cherish and honor our spouse and our marital vows... so we respect and honor those who are called to serve in positions of authority ... so we are willing to give of everything that God has given us (we didn't do it on our own and the government certainly didn't split one cell that led to our creation) to the cause of good and virtuous principles.  What have we got to lose? 

If our relationship with God is solid and our relationship with our spouse is also founded on love, mutual respect and righteous living, then it really doesn't matter if it ends tomorrow or never ends.  Any period of time - whether reckoned by man or deity - is better spent when you have love for God, yourself and your fellow beings.

Commitment

I've come to the realization that once something is spoken and recorded, that constitutes a commitment.  This realization has done two things for me this year ...

... one, that once it is spoken and recorded, then I've made a promise (if only to myself) that I am going to follow through on something.  Too many times, people "commit" to doing something - perhaps out of obligation or just to get someone off their back or just to make someone else happy - and ultimately, they either can't or have no intention of following through.  Anymore, your word is NOT your bond.  Just because it is said or even written, doesn't make it so. 

Unless you are a person of integrity.

And two, that if you are truly a person of integrity, then you will not commit to something that you cannot either do or something that you do not intend to do.  Pretty simple.

Along with commitment comes accountability.  While it really sucks to let yourself or someone else down by not fulfilling your commitment, it feels tremendously rewarding to be able to look at what you've accomplished because you have lived up to your commitments.

All of the hard work, sacrifice and struggle to meet objectives pays off and you hardly remember the pain because the joy is so great. 

So what have I learned about commitment?

1. If you say you're going to do it ... do it.

2.  Be selective about what you commit to doing - be realistic and determine what is best for you and your situation.  (not in a self-serving sort of way, because your failure is of no good to anyone else.)

Making and keeping commitments will ensure progress in your life.

Gratitude

It is wonderful to be alive at this time.  It is amazing to see the wonders of science and technology.  Instant communications, advances in medicine, the availability of information within seconds, multi-media interaction available to the average citizen, improvements in hygiene and sanitation, rapid travel ... many of these things most of us take for granted.

In such a short period of time, these advances have taken place.  Within only a few generations we have gone from the industrial age to the information age to whatever you call it right now.  It is nothing short of miraculous.

What a time to be alive!  I get to witness this and be a beneficiary of all these advances.  I can also leverage these modern developments to create even more value for others and help many people.  Opportunities abound.  We still have many liberties that permit us the freedom to innovate, create, develop, build, leverage, benefit and bless others.  It's still a great situation to be a part of. 

The best way for me to show my appreciation would be to take full advantage of the abundance and blessing of which I am a recipient and make the most of it - especially as it is used to bless others.