A side of Elephant with that Bowl of Ramen?

With the soccer season quickly approaching, "free" Saturdays are about to disappear. So with that reality looming, yesterday was going to be the day to get things done around the Ponderosa. Well, when a wrong number called - TWICE - after midnight the previous night, six o'clock rolled around pretty early. Too early.

Then there were the brakes on the car that needed attention. (You know the old saying, the squeaky brakes get the grease ... or something like that.) There went the morning. Then an opportunity to obtain some free firewood that ultimately turned into an opportunity to brighten someone's day extended a seemingly mundane task into an afternoon adventure.

Still summer days offer much more daylight and yard work was finally incorporated into the schedule (after a trip to the DIY toystore.) A late start meant working until it was too dark to see the curb I was edging by hand. And yes, my muscles are complaining bitterly today.

And so, my effort to get back into the writing mode ... it's like eating an elephant... one story, one anecdote, one observation, one object lesson, one rant, at a time. So after a quick dinner, the writing begins again.

So much for a writing career

Hey there blogosphere... long time, no see.

Sadly, as of late, my writing contributions have been limited to 140 characters. Or a random comment or "like" on Facebook. It is really hard to imagine that I was once a prolific writer. And paid to do it as well. That was over 30 years ago. Yep, it's been a minute.

A journal sits collecting dust on my bookshelf. It contains the angst, the guilt, the desires of a misguided young adulthood. Perhaps that is why the writing muscle lost its flex. The writing for venting's sake seemed like a pretty shallow purpose. Beyond that self-centered focus ("Oh, wo is me!") writing did not amount to anything other than a necessary task related to school or work.

Not only that, the pangs of self doubt nag with the idea that there are so many others out there who are much more accomplished in this endeavor. Sure, I'm clever ... but someone else is clever-er. Sure, I'm literate ... but someone else has a much better knack for words. And I don't feel even mildly interesting as far as what I might opine or information that I might share.

So will it take a sense of duty, an obligation, to finally get off the stick and WRITE? Can I write just for the fun of it? To express those deep-seated insights screaming to see the light of day? To share emotion, knowledge, hopes and even fears?

Or will this end up being my ONE blog post of 2011?

Maybe this will help.

A few thoughts on the politics of "blackness"

Just a quick couple of thoughts to "get the bull rolling," as Boortz would say.

I attended a forum on "Replenishing, Repositioning, and Reclaiming African American Males" last night. On a good note, I was one of the few white people there, which tells me that the work to be done is being undertaken by those most affected. And judging from the speeches and the rhetoric of the evening, African American males are serious about saving their next generation. Thank God! Let's see if words translate into action.

I especially enjoyed a lengthy, although captivating lecture, by a hip hop artist, Killa Mike aka Mike Bigga. He made a lot of sense and clearly doesn't live the rap culture stereotype of denigrating his people. He quickly pointed out, however, that rappers rap about things that the community cares about - drugs, big booties and sex, as opposed to education, legit careers and family life. He called out the adults to look after the kids in the proper way, not defer to the thugs and gangstas. I could definitely hang with this guy. He's got major props in my book.

Also on the program, newly elected mayor of Atlanta, Kasim Reed, is really starting to grow on me. I'll be honest - when he first started campaigning, I thought, "Typical politician ... so the system of black political patronage continues in the city of Atlanta." But the more I hear him, the more I believe in his sincerity and conviction. He certainly has a tough job, overcoming the corruption and mismanagement of the past. He seems tough enough to confront the issues, though. As long as he stays above the fray and doesn't surround himself with cronies, but with people who have integrity and care about doing the right thing, he should do well. (I could insert a rant about Obama here, but I'll save that for another post.)

Congressman John Lewis also spoke. He is inspiring. His story should be a message to 15 year old black males everywhere. Actually, his story should be a message to all people - standing up for your convictions, willing to lay it all down - including your life, if necessary - to do the right thing. Here is a man who lives by his belief in nonviolence and does so much to further that cause. What I would like to know is when "can't we all just get along" will transcend petty politics?

The saddest note of the night is that I was one of very few white people there. As far as being an odd ball, that didn't bother me at all. I've been grossly outnumbered more times than I can count. I guess I don't see myself the way others do. What I felt was that I cared enough to be there. I should not be deprived of the opportunity. I'm married to an African American male, my son is an African American male. Many of my soccer kids are African American males. I love them and care deeply about what happens to them and want so much better for them than the gigantic odds that would put them in a cemetery or prison before putting them in a college classroom.

Are there not other white people who care? Or does the African American community not want it to be a collective problem to be solved collectively? I hope that neither are the case.

New year, new resolve?

Actually, it's the same resolve from last year.  I just keep recycling it.  

Each year ... (or is it every other year?  I lose track sometimes - comes with advanced age.)  Anyway, around this time of the year, I review a "Top 10" list that I have stuck in my scripture case.  It's a personal thing and I don't share the list with anyone - even my husband - so I'm not going elaborate on the things on my list.  Suffice it to say, I have no trouble finding 10 things to work on each year and it's good to go back and review and add to and adjust and revise.  

Over the past eight or so years, it hasn't changed too dramatically.  It's not that I am not making any progress and finding new things to work on in my "Top 10" (replacing things that I've mastered or overcome as challenging character flaws or such.)  When I look back over a longer stretch of time, there is quite a bit of change and improvement, I'm happy to say.

That said, I'm hardly satisfied.  Being as hard as I am on myself, I don't believe that I'm making the kind of progress that I should.  Especially considering the many years I spent as a slacker.  There's a lot of catching up to do.  And there are still days when I seem to be regressing in areas that I know need focus and concentration.  

That's the challenge in this life.  There are forces out there - very strong ones - that want us to believe that the task before us is insurmountable.  They want us to focus on the lack of progress, get caught up in the day-to-day, and make us lose sight of the bigger picture - the eternal perspective.  If I only glimpse the short term, then I fail to realize how far I've actually come and how much I've actually accomplished.

My life's mission is to do good in this world.  If I can manage not to be plagued by self-doubts, I am certain that I will be a good and faithful servant during my sojourn here.  

So much for "habit"...

It's not as if there isn't anything to write about.  Maybe there's too much.

1.  Economy - scary.  Not hopeless if you're creative and willing to put in the effort.

2.  Politics - disgusting.  That's why I've decided that I am subscribing to the anarchism political philosophy.  I'll start running for office and my first act upon election will be to abolish my position.

3.  Church - or as they call it in the 'hood... "chuch"... exciting, hopeful, strong.  Undoubtedly, the highlight of my life.

4.  Family - thank heaven I have one.  And they're good and supportive.  

5.  Work - tough and rewarding.  And that's what brings people together.  We have a good team and that's what it is all about.

6.  Soccer - analogy for life.  Brings joy and brings pain.  People make it fun, brutal, challenging and possible.

7.  Mantra - "Joy in the Journey" - thanks President Monson.

8.  Prayer - It works.  Do it.  And try to get better at it.  Best advice regarding prayer:  If you don't feel like praying, get on your knees and pray until you do.

9.  Dogs - Woman's best friend.  Can't imagine life without them.  It would be very boring.

10.  Music - Evocative.  It has the power to conjure up almost any thought, memory, emotion or feeling.  It is the universal expression and it transcends language.  When humans get to the point where we don't need language to communicate, our means will probably be through music.

Now I've got 10 more posts all lined up.  We'll see what happens.

I live in Clayton County, GA ... don't tell anyone.

Actually, don't tell anyone that I don't mind living in Clayton County.  Every locality has their problems.  It's just that ours frequently make the national news.  You gotta give it to our little enclave ... there is some entertainment value.  The Atlanta Journal Constitution would sell NO PAPERS if it weren't for us.

The major problem we're dealing with at this time is the abysmal school system.  Our claim to fame is being the first school district to lose accreditation in the last 40 years.  If I'm not mistaken, the last time a district's accreditation was revoked was due to their refusal to integrate.  I would venture to say that the current crisis has been brought on as a backlash to the discriminatory nature of education back then.  The swing in political power from white to black has led to the inundation of black politicians who thought that they could be just like the white politicians - powerful and corrupt.  Well, they did manage that part.  However, they forgot about one small detail - they still have to govern.  That is, actually run things and fill the position for which they've been elected.

There are layers and layers of intrigue involved here.  It's quite entertaining.  You couldn't write a script with this many twists and turns.  

As I mentioned in a previous post, I like to browse the local blog and occasionally through in my 2 cents.  Here's the latest - my suggestions for the school district.  Somewhat tongue-in-cheek, but also half serious.

The Challenge

It's been rumored that it takes 21 days to establish a habit.  My effort at consistent writing is far from being a habit.  Occasionally I'll vent on the local newspaper's blog or forum.  Or throw in my two cents worth on the soccer forum.  Of course, in my humble opinion, my postings are highly intelligent, thoughtful and stimulating.  Why doesn't anyone recognize this?  Alas, that brilliance just lingers there, yet to be acclaimed.

Sadly, where there was once so much promise and skill, and dare I say, even talent, that muscle has lost its strength due to its inactivity.  So whether it's a paragraph or even just a sentence, it is my challenge to write something at least once a week.  With any determination, that should become even more regular.  

It's been 25+ years since the budding author had an audience.  And just because it is written doesn't make it worthy of reading.  I would just like to be the consistent writer that I once was.  If only for my own benefit and emotional well being.