Supah stah!

I have to admit that I like the daily acknowledgement of successes more and more.  Even the small things give me a sense of accomplishment.  Who doesn't need a pat on the back now and then?

So today I helped an organization evaluate their process for serving their clients.  I think that I was able to add some meaningful input to the discussion.

After submitting a stellar proposal yesterday, I followed up today and received an immediate response and suspensed the recipient for a determination (by early next week... before July 4th?)  Given our favor with "friends in high places," I suspect that the proposal will be well received.  (And I just pinged those "friends" so that influence will be brought to bear.)

I got some tasky stuff finished today.  Although not as high a priority as the big picture, strategic sort of things, it still makes me feel good to get those off my list.

And speaking of strategic, I reconnected with our thinkx planner and moved that project forward a little bit.  Not sure what will come of it, as he will be leaving again soon.  However, we can get things underway at least.

On a more momentous front, our first Black Tie Soccer Game committee meeting took place and I was able to contribute to that effort.  We've only just begun to get it together with that project, although this evening was a great first step.

It feels wonderful to see forward movement towards goals and actions that benefit not only my well-being, but that of others.  That's probably the most important accomplishment that anyone could achieve.

Leading = Empowering others

I still remember when one of my kids said years ago that he wanted my job.  I thought that was great!  Then he learned more about what my job entailed and rethought his position. 

The funny thing is though, I can still picture him taking my job someday.

I have spent the better part of my working life watching, analyzing and learning about management styles and effective leadership.  Just for the record, management and leadership is not the same thing.  In my journey, I've seen some very ineffective managers, much less, leaders.  I've also seen some excellent leaders and managers.  I've also learned from being on the receiving end, what people respond to and what turns them against you.

I would like to think that I've tried and have been successful at emulating what I have perceived as effective leaders.  (This is a "success" journal entry, so indulge my self-congratulatory tone.)  While I still have a lot to learn and improve, my style has been effective and has yielded positive results.

The first and foremost thing that I have to say about leading is that you have to have a love for people.  You have to want to do what's best for the team and the organization, which in turn, is going to benefit your client/customer.  You have to set expectations and trust people to get the job done.  You also have to empower them to do their job, making sure that they have the tools and the support to do the best job possible.

You also have to be decisive, yet thoughtful.  You must be flexible about circumstances and methods, yet firm about standards and ethics.

And you have to be willing to do whatever it takes to accomplish the mission and in turn, your team will be willing to do the same.

There's so much that I've learned in the trenches that wasn't in the textbooks in business school.  And there's so much more to learn (that I'm sure is not in a textbook anywhere - even at graduate school.)  However, there is one guiding principle that should be in one's mind - strive to have a concern and empathy for those who are in your charge.  They are people and deserve the respect and love that everyone desires.  And they will perform like their lives depended on it.

At the end of the day, giving your team the tools to accomplish the mission and entrusting them to do the job will go a long way.  I think that people are self-fulfilling prophecies - you can predict a disaster and that's what you get.  Or you can project a stunning result and guess what?  That's what happens. 

Just an aside ... I marvel that I have been given so much responsibility and that I have a team that looks to me for leadership and direction.  Some days I feel hardly up to the task.  And other days, I love being in charge and I love seeing progress and accomplishments and people really rising to the occasion - and to know that I had something to do with them achieving such things!  It's not about a power trip - I think that I'm far to humble for that - it's more about making a difference.  Sounds trite, I know.  It's like when a builder or artist completes their project and can stand back and admire their work. 

Only my work is people work.  That is my God-given talent and calling in life.  What a privilege and responsibility.  And I wouldn't want it any other way.

Success!

It is a principle that success breeds success.  And acknowledging even small successes puts us into a frame of mind to further succeed and achieve.  Over the coming days, I am switching up the writing exercise to focus on principles such as this one to further accelerate the progress I've been realizing over the past four and a half months.  The writing exercise has been a good one for me - awakening those muscles that used to be quite strong, compliant and robust.  It's beginning to feel more natural and my eagerness to do it is increasing.

So that is a success that I hereby acknowledge - I am writing again on a regular basis and it's becoming less like drudgery and "gotta do."

Another success that I would like to acknowledge is that today I rewarded myself with something that I would not normally do - I paid a visit to a new community and toured a couple of open houses.  I also spent some time just wandering and window shopping at these unique little handicraft stores.  I really enjoyed being in the midst of the vintage feel and the rustic vibe.

Today I (along with Harvey) prepared a lesson for the youth in our ward and delivered it as intended.  I really enjoyed the time we spent with the young people and see so much good in them.  I even told them so.

I shared a personal story with a group of women at church.  I believe that in sharing it, I was able to encourage them to befriend those who aren't in our midst. 

This had been a very focused entry and that is my final success which I will acknowledge for today.  It's been one thing to write about whatever comes to mind.  This had served to demonstrate to myself that I am moving to the next level of achievement.  And that I will continue to celebrate in the coming days.

Something about flan ...

... that makes me want to wax poetic.  Okay, so I didn't quite get everything done and I missed out on my walk/ride/swim because of a summer rainshower (although I didn't see or hear thunder or lightning, my sources claim it was lurking and I am not about to take a chance.)

That is okay.  Because a little cup of flan makes everything okie dokie. 

So in about two weeks, I'll hit my last birthday before a half a century.  The most amazing thing to me is how much I still have to learn.  It seems like the older and wiser you get, the more you realize what you DON'T know.  And now I'm finding that it's not even so much about the knowledge you acquire, but how you apply it and more importantly, having the discipline to master the steps to apply knowledge. 

It's a process.  A constant evolution.  Thankfully, we can keep moving forward.  And as a wise person once said, if your not moving forward and learning and growing, you're dying.

I don't want to die.  I want to live!  There are too many great things left to experience, to accomplish, to savor ... like flan! 

The quest to be positive

Oh boy, it is hard not to rip someone a new one when they mess up (even if it's only in your mind.)  I'm sad to admit that sometimes I'm really critical of others.  (I'm also pretty critical of myself, but that's for another day and another post.)  It is a complete and utter lack of charity.

For those who may be a bit confused by the word "charity" ... as I heard described by a teacher once, it is possible to perform "acts of charity" and have not one charitable thought or feeling of charity in relation to that act.  I undoubtedly believe that because I've experienced it.  I've done "charitable" things, yet for all of the wrong reasons.  Out of obligation, looking for recognition, quid pro quo, guilt, etc.

So think of charity as not so much WHAT you do, buy WHY you do it.

Which brings me to my topic for today.  After the last entry, I really wanted to work on being positive - and more specifically, NOT being negative.  Not criticizing, not complaining, not lowering my expectations.

So today I go into a public restroom and as I am washing my hands and getting ready to leave, the custodian is sweeping one of the stalls and saying how everyone had treated her so badly today.  I wanted more than anything to say something to her that would change her mood and outlook.  She clearly had had a stressful day and even physically looked as if she had the weight of the world on her shoulders.  I pointed out that she didn't deserve to be treated badly.  She did a wonderful job keeping that restroom clean (which she did) and that she should feel good about that in spite of what people said or did.  She agreed but still bemoaned her plight.  I thought to myself that she has triggered the negative treatment and that I had to redouble my efforts to help her feel positive instead of negative.  I told her to have a good rest of her day.  She said that she was off in 10 minutes and would be darn glad of it.  I agreed that it was good and told her to have a good evening.

I felt a little helpless in that situation, because I really had difficulty trying to figure out what I could say to counter the negativity that has clearly engulfed this woman.  Short of staying for a while and talking and trying to counsel her, I'm not sure what more I could've said.  I also felt her negativity starting to weigh on me!  Not good!

So I leave the building and head to my car.  Looking at my watch, it's just before 4 o'clock.  Boy, did I need a haircut!  And the place I go to get my hair cut closes at 5 p.m. I call the shop to see if I could still get in and am told that if I could get there by 4:30, I could get it done.  In my desperation, I decide to go for it, even though I would really be pushing it to get from downtown Atlanta to downtown Fayetteville. 

The thought crossed my mind that even if I get there by 4:30 (she had told me that they leave at 5) that whoever would get my haircut (I go to a beauty school to get my hair cut by a student) would have to stay past 5.  I have A LOT of hair and I needed a thorough haircut, not just a trim.  Sometimes the students aren't totally focused on customer service, often they are young and have a lot going on in their lives (boyfriends, kids, drama, etc.)  I hoped that I would not get a student that was anxious to get out for the day and rush to get done.

I squeeze in by 4:25 and pay for my cut.  The next student up is Hope.  She comes out, gives a cursory greeting and leads me to the shampoo bowl.  She does express that she was not happy that she gets the last ticket of the day at 4:30.  While she does a decent job on the shampoo (which, by the way, is my favorite part of getting my hair cut) ... she has strong hands, but not rough... she does lack enthusiasm.  She leads me to the chair and we discuss the cut.  Doing my best to be understanding (even though I'm the customer), we begin to converse.  She is a transfer student and does not like the school.  She doesn't like moving to Georgia - having come from the big city of Chicago, by way of Philly, to settle in Sharpsburg - a small town in the country.  What a culture shock, I'm sure!  She seems self-assured at first, but comes to rely on the instructor for some guidance.  She handles herself well with the scissors and her little pink tail comb (which, come to find out, is not permitted by the state board - so she gets corrected, much to her chagrin.) 

Since I'm pretty much stuck in the chair throughout the process, I crack wise, reassure her, compliment her, and project the idea that it is going to be the most amazing haircut.  I converse with the instructor and other students while they are there (they pretty much bailed right at 5.)  All the while, I am projecting a positive attitude about the haircut and the person executing it.

At 5:30, the cut is finished and you know what?  It is a pretty amazing haircut.  Hope did a great job and seemed a little more relaxed by the time it was finished.  I thanked her for staying way past her quitting time and she said no problem.  I also gave her the best tip I've ever given anyone there.

I don't know if I actually helped in any way to give this student a positive experience and maybe a little more confidence.  I don't know if she feels any better about her situation or not.

I do know that I felt better because I really overcame the feeling of a negative outcome based on the fear that the student would project a negative attitude and it would affect the outcome of the haircut.  And the ultimate outcome was excellent!  A testament to the power of positive thinking.

Positive about negativity

It's a challenge to stay positive.  Our brains and nature are easily influenced towards negativity.  It's basic and a product of laziness.  Let's face it, it's easier to just give up because there is no hope than it is to buckle down and improve the situation.

No one, except for other negative people, want to be around negative people.  They must bring everyone down with them.  What is the saying?  Misery loves company?

On the other hand, some of the most amazing people I've had the pleasure of meeting and associating with are also the most positive people.  They never complain, criticize, grumble or moan.  They find the silver lining in every cloud and lift people up with their buoyant mood and complimentary words.  That is the kind of personality that anyone should try to emulate.

I've learned about the universal laws that what you focus on increases and what you project to the universe comes back to you.  So it only stands to reason that the more negative you are, the more negative your life becomes.  Likewise, the more positive you are, the more positive your life becomes.

So my pledge to myself and everyone around me - to be positive, complimentary, upbeat, "glass half full", hopeful and happy.  If anyone catches me in a glum mood or seemingly angry or critical, please tap me gently on the shoulder and remind me of my pledge.  And we should also be mindful of the ultimate outcome of a positive attitude - abundance, blessings, happiness and a cheerier disposition.  Who wouldn't want that?

For the love of pete, do not let this happen again

Today I noticed a proliferation of "Elect Victor Hill" signs in my neighborhood.  It's bad enough that election signs are a blight on any neighborhood (along with all of the other signs - which I will rant about at some other time.)  This man is a blight on the community.

It's a long story, so the reader's digest version is that this man got elected sheriff of our local county and turned out to be a disaster.  He nearly single-handedly turned Clayton County into a laughing stock, making for a steady stream of content for the local evening news.  (His only saving grace was that the board of education was nearly as pathetic and calamitous for the county as he was.)  Certainly there are challenges and no politician is perfect, but he seemed to seek after publicity - good and bad - with a persona and penchant for grandstanding that is unparalleled. 

So after losing the last election and being run out of town in shame - or so we thought - heeeeeeeee's BACK!  Even while under indictment for criminal charges relating to various acts of corruption while in office, he's bound and determined to win that seat back.  First of all, WHY?  What could be so compelling about becoming sheriff that he would go through a very public campaign and kiss a lot of ... babies ... to get elected?  It is just about ego?  Money?  Power?  All of the above?

Probably the most baffling part about this whole thing are the people who are staunchly in support of this clown.  Ignorant?  Looking for political favors (give or receive?)  Sadists? 

So here we are, just starting to get a little credibility back and not seeing the parade of morons on the local news program.  (DeKalb and the north Georgia mountain counties are cornering that market, thank you very much.)  It would really stink to go back to the "you're from Clayton county?" mode again - people think I'm retarded just because I live here.  No people, I didn't vote for him.

Please, please, please, fellow Claytonians - please do not elect this man again.  It will only cause sorrow and pain.  And me to get rid of my county stickers on my license plates.

The amazing human brain

Believe it or not, I am just now beginning to appreciate the capacity of the human brain.  How many times have we been told over the years - "we only use about 10% of our brain" or something like that.  And you just nod and say, "yeah, I can believe that" and then move on to the next thought ... never really considering what that really means.

Oh sure, you think, "Well, what on earth would we use that other 90% for anyway?"  Maybe we are meant to use it to levitate things or conceive of wild theories of space travel or spiritual healing.  That's just our brain, slacking off.

Yep, our brains are slackers.  That's why we only use a fraction of them.  If we really worked those puppies out like they need to be exercised, you can only imagine the wonderful things, powerful things, that it would be able to do. 

Some of the greatest thinkers of the modern era, including Albert Einstein, studied and theorized about some very interesting and revolutionary things that involve the mind.  I think that we get the impression that scientists just deal with theoretical and science application - you know, splitting atoms and the like.  However, the quantum mechanics have a very relevant relationship with our everyday lives and how we perceive and function in the world.

Like I mentioned before, I am just know beginning to get a glimpse of this truly out-of-the-box thinking.  These kinds of theories and applications are far beyond what we would study in traditional school and in my experience, not a lot of people really consider thinking differently when it comes to self-discipline and achievement.  And most people don't even know about these principles.

I will share more in time.  This topic deserves more than just a 10 minute exercise.  Additionally, I have much more to learn and I would like to actually put into practice what I'm learning in order to give it a real fair assessment before telling others about it.

So more later....

If I've never properly thanked you ...

... please accept my apology.  Not to dwell on my shortcomings, but I've been known to take things for granted. 

If there is anyone on this earth who is more blessed and fortunate than myself, I am hard-pressed to find them.  I have incredible parents and grew up in a wonderful place, happily isolated from the really icky things in the world.  I've got some terrific extended family and friends of the family that have been solid and supportive to this day. 

I owe that to my great parents, for whom people would do just about anything.  It's a testament to their loyalty and faithfulness as friends to others.  If you think that I'm generous and willing to serve, then you can say that I'm merely a reflection of the generosity and willingness to serve that were modeled by my parents and many others who were influential during my formative years.

If I were determined to spend the time to seek out and properly thank all of those who have been supportive and great examples to me, I'd have to take at least a year sabbatical.  "The Year of Thankfulness" doesn't sound like a bad idea.

In the meantime, perhaps I can just turn over a new leaf and make a better effort to show my gratitude in the here and now.  Send notes and gifts, perhaps?  Be quick to express it and be sincere, certainly.  Be mindful and make a concentrated effort to not take anything for granted.

So thank you for being a good example, for listening, for not judging, for being generous with your time and treasure, for being there.  Please know that it is appreciated.

Faffing

It wasn't until I worked with a Brit before I knew the definition or even heard the word, for that matter.  It could've easily been mistaken for a more vulgar "F" word.  And as Americans are prone to do, one could think the worst - it MUST mean something bad.

In a certain sense, "f-ing around" does have a similar meaning to "faffing about."  Just for the sake of accuracy (or as much accuracy as one could find by researching using the internet), I found numerous definitions and even an etymology of "faff."

The best that I found was this:
"Faffing – The art of doing something without achieving anything”

 Credit to Steven Aitchison from an article on Lifehack.org.  It's a good one - check it out:

5 Ways to get out of faffing mode

Apparently it's one that I need.  I am a veteran faffer.  I actually have to put on my "to do" list to NOT faff.  Or at least budget less time dedicated to faffing.  (For example, two hours or less.)

It seems that the "faff trap" occurs when there is something that is more daunting than I'm willing to undertake.  Thus, I while away my time in "faff mode" because I don't want to face what is perceived to be an enormous/impossible/drudgery-filled/tedious/grueling (you name the adjective) task.  And once I click off the faff, and set out to accomplish what I SHOULD be doing in the first place, it turns out that the task wasn't so bad after all. 

So in a way, the faffing is just warm up for the main event.  As long as I resist the urge to let the faffing take over and dominate my daily schedule and overrule the action items that I must complete, then a little faffing may be permissible. 

At least I won't waste any time worrying about it.

Back in the saddle

I fell off a horse once.  Lucky for me I landed on my sister.  Not so lucky for her though.  Without the extreme pain, it wasn't so bad to get back on the horse again and continue to ride. 

I've fallen off a bicycle too.  A few times, actually.  And the pain again wasn't so bad that I couldn't get back on the bike and ride.  The memory of the pain faded much more quickly and did not override the pleasure of riding. 

So I've fallen off of the progress wagon over the past week.  I was doing fairly well with the commitment to spend ten minutes or more writing.  As you may have noticed, the content is not so important.  It's more about the habit and conditioning that muscle. 

For someone who used to write daily, that is one muscle that has long been dormant.  So I'm not expecting miracles - that I'll instantly be the consummate writer, with creativity and inspiration flowing from every pore.  Ha. I would just like to reignite that passion for writing again.  I miss being able to express myself in that way and doing it with ease. 

Since that time, so much has changed.  For one, I am no longer the whiny young person whose so-called love life was a disaster ... at least in my eyes.  The whiny girl who acted as if the world revolved around the calamity of love lost and BFF betrayal.  (Actually, I really didn't have a BFF back then, which is probably why I turned to writing to a journal - "whoever" was whom I addressed at the time.)

So now I have a husband - of twenty-five years, I am proud to say - and I've accomplished a few things and spent some time learning about the world around me over the thirty-odd years since the journaling days.  I'm sure that the tone of the writing will have changed in that time.  At least the content is not so "emo" anymore. 

So maybe I'll spend some time drawing on the experiences I've had.  Or I can share insights that I've acquired through that experience.  Or maybe just humorous observations.  If anyone can find some value from it, that will make me happy.  I just want to help.

Some things that are worthy of praise

Just to reflect on a positive note this evening... here are some things that I think are just swell.  If you're unfamiliar or haven't considered any of these, then I would highly recommend that you check into them right away because you don't know what you're missing.

- Flan (or any custard, for that matter)  No need for explanation here.

- A swimming pool with a water temp of around 85 F - cool enough to be refreshing, warm enough to jump right in without having to "get used to it."

-  Rottweiler dogs - pretty smart, protective, strong, loyal, total clowns.  (I think dogs in general are pretty cool.  Even the little yappy ones.)

- The Georgian sky - there is nothing like looking up on a clear, bright day and noticing how absolutely blue and beautiful the sky is.  Set against the dark green of the countless pine trees, the sky in Georgia never ceases to take my breath away.

- Mountains - speaking of breathtaking beauty, I just love mountains.  You know how you are either a beach person or a mountain person? (sure, you can love both, but everyone loves one just a LITTLE BIT more than the other...)  Well, I am a mountain person, especially vistas and views.  Nothing like it.  You really get a glimpse of how grand and beautiful this earth really is and come to a much greater appreciation for God's creation.  As a friend once put it, being on the top of a mountain helps you feel closer to God.  I couldn't agree more.

- Anything fried - aside from the fact that I love food in general, fried food is my guilty pleasure.  If it can withstand hot oil, it should be fried.  Coated, batter-dipped and fried is a totally under-appreciated art form.

That is just to name a few.  There are many more and I will explore this thread at some other time.  I'd love to hear what others may wish to laud for whatever reason.  The world is too full of wonderful things to not take a moment to show appreciation by telling others about our likes and loves.

Hi ho, hi ho, it's off to camp I go...

Well, tomorrow at the 'butt crack' of dawn, I am heading to girls' camp.  This will be my fourth year in my adult years.  I went for about six years when I was 12 to 18 years old.  There were good times and some not so good times, but overall, I have good memories of girls' camp.

Now as a leader, I get to put my stamp on the experience for younger girls.  I'd like for them to learn some really important skills that they may find useful at the most unexpected moment.  I would also like for the girls to appreciate the beauty and majesty of God's grand creation called Earth.  Nature is simple and complex, awesome and inspiring.  Sometimes we just don't take the time to notice it.

Okay, yes the spiritual side of it is important too.  My big beef as a kid was that it was a little too "in your face" and that it was not an opportunity to discover our own spirituality.  Too rote, too pat.  That's just not me and it took me a while to come to grips with my resentment.  I hope that I can be a positive influence without being pushy or over-the-top. 

Lastly, I just hope that the girls have fun.  Singing, cracking jokes, playing games, doing skits and being just plain silly.  This is the place for just that ... no make up, no pretenses, no putting on airs.  At least, not in theory.  Sometimes it takes a minute to get that point across.  Along those lines, I also hope that there is no drama.  Get over yourself, get along with one another and just chillax.

So off to camp I go.  See you at the end of the week.  After a hot shower and a nap, of course.