Relationships that count

It was an important day for me today and I am truly grateful for the people whose support and love mean the most to me.

First and foremost is that of my husband, Harvey.  He has demonstrated beyond a shadow of a doubt that he would go to any length for me.  Not that I would expect anything most outrageous... if anything, I try to be undemanding and patient.  I love him for who he is - an intelligent, caring and charming person - not for anything that he would have to "prove" to me.  Our relationship doesn't need proving.  However, if it did, then today would have been a very good yardstick.  We have made the commitment, before God, angels and earthly witnesses, that we are pledged to one another into eternity.   Certainly 25 years is notable.  Eternity is another whole matter.

So the thought crossed my mind ... does this all make sense?  Do we really know that once we die, we go someplace else and the rituals and covenants that we call ourselves making do any good at all?  Are they really "in effect" once we die?  So this could be an exercise in futility and once we're in the ground, that's it.  That is certainly a possibility.

However, what if it isn't?  What if all of this is a fact and certainty?  Whether it is or not, what is the harm in living a morally clean and virtuous (to the best of our ability) life?  So we do a little good for others ... so we love, cherish and honor our spouse and our marital vows... so we respect and honor those who are called to serve in positions of authority ... so we are willing to give of everything that God has given us (we didn't do it on our own and the government certainly didn't split one cell that led to our creation) to the cause of good and virtuous principles.  What have we got to lose? 

If our relationship with God is solid and our relationship with our spouse is also founded on love, mutual respect and righteous living, then it really doesn't matter if it ends tomorrow or never ends.  Any period of time - whether reckoned by man or deity - is better spent when you have love for God, yourself and your fellow beings.

Commitment

I've come to the realization that once something is spoken and recorded, that constitutes a commitment.  This realization has done two things for me this year ...

... one, that once it is spoken and recorded, then I've made a promise (if only to myself) that I am going to follow through on something.  Too many times, people "commit" to doing something - perhaps out of obligation or just to get someone off their back or just to make someone else happy - and ultimately, they either can't or have no intention of following through.  Anymore, your word is NOT your bond.  Just because it is said or even written, doesn't make it so. 

Unless you are a person of integrity.

And two, that if you are truly a person of integrity, then you will not commit to something that you cannot either do or something that you do not intend to do.  Pretty simple.

Along with commitment comes accountability.  While it really sucks to let yourself or someone else down by not fulfilling your commitment, it feels tremendously rewarding to be able to look at what you've accomplished because you have lived up to your commitments.

All of the hard work, sacrifice and struggle to meet objectives pays off and you hardly remember the pain because the joy is so great. 

So what have I learned about commitment?

1. If you say you're going to do it ... do it.

2.  Be selective about what you commit to doing - be realistic and determine what is best for you and your situation.  (not in a self-serving sort of way, because your failure is of no good to anyone else.)

Making and keeping commitments will ensure progress in your life.

Gratitude

It is wonderful to be alive at this time.  It is amazing to see the wonders of science and technology.  Instant communications, advances in medicine, the availability of information within seconds, multi-media interaction available to the average citizen, improvements in hygiene and sanitation, rapid travel ... many of these things most of us take for granted.

In such a short period of time, these advances have taken place.  Within only a few generations we have gone from the industrial age to the information age to whatever you call it right now.  It is nothing short of miraculous.

What a time to be alive!  I get to witness this and be a beneficiary of all these advances.  I can also leverage these modern developments to create even more value for others and help many people.  Opportunities abound.  We still have many liberties that permit us the freedom to innovate, create, develop, build, leverage, benefit and bless others.  It's still a great situation to be a part of. 

The best way for me to show my appreciation would be to take full advantage of the abundance and blessing of which I am a recipient and make the most of it - especially as it is used to bless others.

Envision II

I am in control of my finances and my financial future.  Money doesn't control me - I control my money.  I appreciate that I have some and that it affords me opportunities to share in my abundance and feel a sense of security. 

It is no shame to have financial means, especially for those who have used their skill, talents and intelligence to add value and receive a return for that value.  I add value to other people's lives and I deserve to have abundance and means to fulfill my dreams.

With the resources I have received, I am able to travel and visit family, provide assistance to those in need, invest in future returns and create a stable financial future for my family. 

This is on me and I create my reality.  My reality is abundance.  It is a right and an obligation to pursue happiness and in turn, share in that abundance.  Having money and financial health is an indicator of one's well-being on other levels as well.  Healthy mind, healthy body, healthy spirit ... all go hand in hand with prosperity and wealth.  All are indicators of what is going on inside - the inner world is reflected by the outer world.

I seize the opportunities that come my way and make the most of them.

Envision

In my mind, I see myself running and jumping, turning and cutting, moving blithely about, light as air.  Flitting and fluttering about as if a feather.  Any physical activity is possible - stretching, reaching, moving with ease and without pain.

On a soccer field, keeping up with the play and meeting the ball with confidence and finesse.  Flicking, collecting, powerfully launching into the target.

On a bicycle, pumping and pedaling with stamina and ease.  Easily maneuvering through traffic and up hills.  Speeding along the path, strong and swift.

In the pool, swimming a variety of strokes, gliding smoothly through the water.  Tumbling on turns and assertively pushing off the wall.

On the yoga mat, bending and reaching, keeping a timing with breath and movement.  Strong and flexible, able to perform the expert moves and positions.

No matter the physical activity, I am capable and confident.  I am able to execute the technique and perform with endurance, and without pain.

Eliminating negativity

Wow, that's very challenging!  However, what a difference it makes.  I just feel lighter and more hopeful when I do.  And I feel stymied and heavy when I don't.

There was a person I knew a few years ago (he has since passed away, sadly) that had to be the most positive person I've ever met.  He had the fortune of working in a very customer-oriented position with some of the most challenging clients one could have.  He was perfectly suited for the job, as there was no one and no circumstance that could alter his sunny disposition and positive outlook.  He never criticized or complained, even when he has much reason to complain or those with whom he dealt were simply knuckleheads.

I wish I would've asked him his secret to remaining so positive.  Yes, he was a man of faith.  And yes, his personality was one of a very service-oriented person.  It even came out after his death that he served in many other ways that no one even knew.  He was quite extraordinary for many reasons.

How does one stay so focused on positive thoughts, words and deeds?  How do you keep the negative thoughts from creeping in and spilling out in your conversation?  I guess it would start as would any good habit that you are trying to establish.

Awareness - we probably don't even realize when we are being negative.  If I pay attention and note those occasions when my speech is not uplifting or kind, then I will begin the process of change.

Focus - once it is established that there are incidents that need to be addressed, it must be a constant focus and reminder of what we are trying to accomplish.  Keep your eye on the prize - POSITIVITY.

Habit - creating the good habit with the above three steps.  And then not beating yourself up if you backslide a bit.  It happens.  You just get back on the horse and ride.

I am certain that I am much more pleasant to be around when I eliminate the negativity.  (Who likes to hear someone bitching all of the time?  Not me - so I owe the same courtesy to others.)

Celebrate more successes

I've been taught that we should celebrate our accomplishments each and every day.  Even if those accomplishments seem small or insignificant. Everyone needs to feel positive momentum to keep moving forward.  Okay, that seems like circular logic or something like that.  I guess it stands to reason that if we're moving forward, we feel positive momentum ... ah, nevermind.

As is every day of this wonderful life, today was a great day.  It was good to get together with an amazing team and discuss action items for the upcoming week.  Everyone seems to be energized and engaged.  These are some great people and it's a thrill to be working with them.

We got a new young volunteer started officially today.  She's going to be great.  Young, energetic, smart, passionate.  I'm looking forward to seeing what she contributes.  I'm sure it will be greater than expected.

Although the weather was a washout - not much we can do about that - the day ended with a sense of anticipation for a positive experience for the kids tomorrow.  I'm really looking forward to having their involvement and input.  It will be great to get more of that perspective.

Fundraising efforts seem to be on track.  I'll have a better idea once the dashboard is updated.  We're certainly in better shape now than we've ever been.

While I sometime feel overwhelmed - I know that things will get done in their due time and order and that I must remain positive and focused.  I feel good, overall, and will not submit to panic or fretting - that is instant paralysis for me.

In all, a good day and looking forward to another one tomorrow.

Big, hairy, audacious goals

Many of us are programmed to be humble and unassuming.  Being brash and braggadocious (how in the heck is that spelled?) is just not polite.  Especially for the gentile and cultured. 

Besides, those big goals are for the big and successful people - like T. Bone Pickens, Donald Trump, Ross Perot.  In fact, I'm hard pressed to come up with any brash and braggadocious women off the top of my head, other than actresses.  And in those cases, one would imagine that it's more of an act than that they are really like that.

So as we quietly labor away at the mundane and mediocre little goals that we are taught to set for ourselves (i.e. get a raise this year, pay off the car, get a college degree, etc.), those with big, hairy, audacious goals are zooming past us on the road of life.  They dared to dream big and not be limited by what others' narrow beliefs may entail.

Isn't that what this whole American dream is all about?  Where are the limits really?  Who sets them?  They are SELF-IMPOSED. 

Believe it or not, most people are not afraid to fail ... they are afraid to SUCCEED!  Why is that?  Darned if I know.  I get stuck in that non-visionary thinking often times too.  That's why I'm really trying to bust my brain to open up and think BIG!  Mind power is where it's at.

I'm tested it out now and I'll keep you posted on that.  It's looking promising though.  Stay tuned.

Small victories

When the large and daunting tasks lie ahead, it's reassuring to acknowledge the small accomplishments.  When struggling to see progress and feeling as though nothing has been achieved, there can always be something, however minor, to hang your hat on.

Today included 35 minutes of physical activity in the form of bicycling and swimming.  I am feeling better each day and the weight continues to be released.

I was able to present the new/revised organizational structure for the program staff and introduced new job descriptions.

While only one person attended, I did host the girls' camp debrief meeting.  It was nice to chat with Leslie and get to know her better.

I helped a friend find a potential new place to live that is better suited to his life and work situation.

Something that I am really happy and proud about - I avoided the worst traffic.  Seriously, that's notable here.

Since I am extremely focused this month on the health issues, some of the other items have suffered or at least aren't progressing as quickly as before.  I need to test this and see how specific and focused I can and need to be.  Also, how much is too much?  Trying to do too much is as bad as not doing anything at all.

So my last accomplishment is striking a balance.

When to be political

'Tis the season.  The campaign signs are popping up everywhere, just like dandelions.  The junk mail has ticked up a notch.  The television ads aren't in full swing yet.  Neither are the radio ads.  I'll probably just watch and listen less in the coming few weeks leading up to the primary.

This is the height of "caveat emptor" - buyer beware.  Unfortunately, I'm hard pressed to find a "Consumer Reports" for the political class.  It seems that we are expected to go by what's on the label - with which ever label each candidate chooses to affiliate themselves.  However, ingredients vary widely.  Just because a person comes with a Democrat or Republican label, doesn't guarantee that they are lock, stock and barrel in the bag for their respective party.  And sadly, what about those who just don't fit neatly into the mold.  Those are the ones that I would like to hear more about, since our current options are less than desirable.

I am proud to say that I haven't voted for a mainstream party candidate for president since Reagan.  I never voted for any Bushes and I never voted for any Democrats.  (I would quite possibly have to give up my birthright if I did.)  I voted for Ross Perot, because I liked his ideas and the fact that he was not a career politician.  For president (and any other office for which there is one running) I will almost always vote for the Libertarian. 

So I give in to that label perhaps.  I would prefer to think of it as a "protest vote." 

So why am I sharing all of this?  I would like to think that I was raised to be polite and maintain a certain level of decorum.  In polite society, one doesn't discuss religion or politics and I tend to abide by that guideline ... unless someone asks.  And then if it appears that the person has inquired to merely pick a fight, and all efforts to remain civil are pointless, I cease the discussion.  It takes two to fight and I am not going to be one of them.

For the most part, I believe it is possible to agree to disagree.  At the same time, I will not force a person to believe a certain way or vote a certain way and I expect the same respect.  Perhaps in the course of the discussion, we may both learn something.

Regardless of party or philosophy, the point of elected office is public service.  And I will give you an example of what I am looking for when it comes to a basis for assessing a candidate.  Please note that this is not meant as an attack or heaven forbid, an endorsement.  It's merely my observation.

There is a candidate for the county commission district in which I live.  She happens to be the incumbent.  I did not vote for her in the last election.  And I won't vote for her in the coming election either.  And I'll show you why:

The sign says "Let's Keep Commissioner Gail Hambrick - Committed to Community"

These signs are placed all along this stretch of residential road in Ms. Hambrick's district.  Maybe it's just me, but I would be embarrassed to associate my name with this particular community, especially if I were touting the fact that I'm "committed to community."  The weeds, the tall grass, the broken glass on the sidewalk, the litter.  (You can't see it in the picture, but there's even a condom wrapper lying nearby.)  What kind of community is this?  A pretty run-down, undesirable one, I'd imagine. 

I live in this neighborhood and walk or ride or drive this stretch of road every day.  I've gone through there on occasion and picked up litter.  I have even been waging a personal crusade against the random illegal sign posters, selling everything from carpet cleaning to cash for junk cars, pulling them up as fast as they place them.  (For the record, I do not touch the campaign signs, as I know that is a "no no" - unless the election is over.  Then they will go into the trash, right along with reunion t-shirt man and anointed hands moving service signs.)

The county does a pretty lousy job of maintaining the roadside in general.  When the grass does get mowed, they just leave the tall clippings laying on the sidewalk, counting on the wind and rain to clear it off.  We're talking 12 plus inches of grass - it would take a hurricane to get that stuff off of there.  Can't the county just break down and buy a damn leaf blower?

You may consider this a trivial issue to complain about, especially when compared to crime and the economy.  Yet this small thing is one of many small things that adds up to big things.  Who would buy a house in THIS neighborhood?  How would a criminal treat the people who live in this neighborhood?  What kind of respect does the citizenry demonstrate for their own community when it looks like this?  What on earth are we teaching our kids?!?

Based on this small test, Gail Hambrick fails miserably in my eyes.  She will not get my vote and I would just as soon write in "Mickey Mouse" before I would cast a vote for this politician.  She just paid a lackey or found a hapless volunteer to scatter a bunch of signs, adding to the blight in the community, without giving a second thought about the community that she supposedly serves.

So when it is time to take a stand, that is when I will be political.  And all politics are local.  Whoever is elected president this year, it probably won't make a spec of difference in my life which one it is.  But if I could find a true public servant to serve in my community, I would sleep much better at night in my neighborhood.

Meditation on a birthday

So now I've officially surpassed age 49 and I am now working on my fiftieth year.  What a half a century it's been.  Physically, I know that the second century may be a bit of a challenge, but mentally I am looking forward to it.  Bring it on, baby.

As the old saying goes - "if I knew then what I know now..."  Given the living I've experienced thus far, I feel justified in reveling in wisdom.  Clearly, I do NOT know everything - so let's get that out there right now.  Yes, I'm still learning and will always continue to learn and have much, much more to learn. 

Life is a learning experience ... that's what makes it so interesting.  Each year has brought new insights, new discoveries, a mystery unfolded.  It has been wonderful!  And unpredictable.  I'm glad.  Being one that is not easily surprised, I appreciate that I don't always know what to expect. 

And because I try to face everything with a positive attitude and I know that I will not be tested beyond my capability to endure whatever I must face, there are no horrible surprises awaiting.  Certainly, there are times of discomfort and trial.  Yet looking back through the years, nothing that is so extreme as to deter me along my journey.  I would consider my 49 years to be truly blessed. 

So looking forward to another half a century, I will take what I have learned and live up to my obligation to teach and help others.  We can't let that hard-earned wisdom go to waste.

Partner in crime

Okay, I admit it... I like to be the center of attention.  And yes, I do like receiving credit where credit is due.  Sure, I'm a bit self-absorbed.  And?

It's a gift, I guess.

On a serious note, though, I have to speak on someone who doesn't get nearly enough credit for his contribution to MY success.  That is my partner in crime, Harvey.

We've been scheming together for the past 26 plus years.  In a variety of areas - work, money, soccer, social life, etc.  I have to say that I don't dare make a major move without his consultation.  I trust his judgement and I respect his opinion about things.  He's one of the smartest people I know.  He has to be to keep up with me - and I mean that.

He tends to downplay his contribution and value, but let me tell you, I'd be lost without him.  When he leaves me, he better not completely leave me, if you know what I mean.  I'm not much for wanting an intentional haunting, except in that case.

I just love how we see eye to eye in most cases.  We have had some disagreements, but nothing to lose sleep over (except for a couple of very, very rare occasions, which we got past really quickly.)  He's the other half of my brain.

So I'm not one for mushy stuff either.  Neither of us have much for public displays of affection - in fact, many people don't even realize we're married until we say something.  We just don't make a big deal about it.  For us, it's a perfect partnership, no need to broadcast it or reaffirm it or seek approval.  We've never really thought about having outside validation because it's what makes us happy and we belong together.  Like ______________ (insert trite example here of two things that are inseparable.) 

So here it is, my public expression of appreciation for my best friend and soul mate.  I love him more than words can say.  (Insert Freddie Jackson song here.)  I never want to be without him.

Happy Burfday, USA!

It hadn't really occurred to me before today.  A lot of people say that they are celebrating "the 4th of July."  First of all, why do we assume that everyone knows and understands what significance that day holds?  If someone were to be visiting from another country or another planet, for that matter, would they know why we're celebrating "the 4th of July"?  Did someone just pick a date out of the hat and say, "We're going to celebrate THIS day."

Of course not.

Again, it didn't really strike me as peculiar or off-kilter until it was pointed out that we have lost the reason for this celebration.  I don't think that we've forgotten as much as we have taken for granted that, "yeah, it's the United States of America and there was a war or something and now we have a government and stuff."

Perhaps we need to go back to reminding ourselves what actually took place over 200 years ago (236 years ago, to be exact.)  It was nothing short of a miracle that all of the stars aligned and this "more perfect union" emerged.

All things happen for a reason and it was no accident that the people were in place to stand up and resist an oppressive regime and incompatible form of government.  Incompatible in the sense that people could not flourish if not given the freedoms and self-government needed to  innovate, build, create and prosper.  In other words, pursue happiness.

We have so much innate potential, yet our own worst enemy is ourselves.  Once a liberating force took hold in this place and said "Why not?" it changed the game.  It changed the way we looked at ourselves.  We could be INDEPENDENT!  Captains of our own ship, pilots of our own destiny.  The only limit is ourselves.

NO WHERE ELSE on this planet could this have happened.  The stars aligned and Providence smiled down on the movement and the noble ones who took this responsibility seriously and pledged their very lives to see it through.

The next time that fierce independent streak rises up in you - when you are told "no, you can't do this" or "you must do this" - think about how this is the only place in the world where you have a choice.  You can speak out, you can take a stand, you can criticize - either alone or with a group, and you can disagree and boldly proclaim it.

Liberty, freedom, independence - these are the words that should resonate with every American and values which we should cherish and be willing to give our lives for.  Especially since so many already have.

Happy independence day.  Happy birthday, dear nation.  Long may you live.

One of my favorite months of the year

I just love July.  It's a great month.  Summer time is in full swing and the weather is bright and sunny.  Long days, full of energy and life.  The plants are growing towards a bountiful harvest and nature is abuzz - quite literally, as the mosquitoes are at their peak as well.  (Hooray for "Deep Woods Off"!)

It makes me happy to be born during this time of year.  Ir's easy to celebrate when life is so full and abundant.  One could certainly feel that same way just about any time of the year, I suppose.  It is just such a blessing to have been born when and where and to whom I was born.

Now nearly a half a century later, I'm beginning to realize how fortunate I've been all of my life.  I grew up in a safe place, with a walkable neighborhood teeming with families and kids my age.  I have two incredible parents who most of all, love and care for one another and reflect a foundation of faith and good morals.  I was gifted with a good brain and various talents.  Not only that, I've had opportunities to develop my talents and intellect and outlets to share and use them to hopefully benefit others.

There are so many blessings over the years that I would be unable to count them.  Relatively good health ... check.  Financial stability ... check.  A lovely home and stuff to fill it ... check.  A livelihood that not only puts food on the table, but is one that I love ... check.  Good people with whom I associate ... check.  Hope for the future ... check. 

I could go on.  Really!  Some may just say it's all about attitude.  And it is!  I think that a positive attitude has helped me to see the blessings and advantages that I have.  However, it's more than that.  I actually have advantages and blessings that I would be remiss if I were to take them for granted.  Not everyone has that same lot in life. 

I'm not exactly sure why I have the circumstances I've had.  At the same time, why did Harvey have more than his share of challenges from an early age on?  My suspicion is that it speaks to the type of person we are when we get to this mortal existence and what we have the potential to become both here and in the hereafter.  I'll have to wait on validating that hypothesis.

Ultimately, we have choices and regardless of our plight in life, we can be thankful and continue to aspire to greater things, or wallow in pity and cease to grow.  Thankfully, I have been blessed with a nature to choose the former and examples all around me of those who do the same.  It's a great life!

Happy July, everyone!  It's a great month to celebrate and be alive.  I am looking forward to it with gusto!